Momming is the hardest job of them all, without a doubt. However, what no one tells you before you become a mom is all the jobs that come along with the title! Once you have kids, you quickly find out there are 1 million other jobs that mothers end up taking on, despite never having applied for them! Here are 10 mom jobs that we wish we could outsource!
1. Personal Chef.
For everyone. And all their different tastes. And moods. Bobby doesn’t feel like eating chicken and rice tonight? Amy would rather die than eat lasagna? Sounds about right. And almost never is everyone happy and satisfied with the meal prepared for them. Makes ya wonder if they’d give Gordon Ramsay this much flack!
Who knew there were so many places children had to be!? Even as little ones…doctor’s appointments, play dates, trips to Gymboree. And let’s not even talk about the amount of driving once they start getting involved in activities like sports, dance, music, etc. There is somewhere to go every.single.afternoon. And weekends!? Yeeesh. Still trying to figure out if I’m going to trust my kids with the self-driving cars once they become readily available. Methinks “yes.”
3. Last minute project/diorama/report expert.
Oh, it’s 8pm on Thursday night and you’ve got a papier-mâché model of California due tomorrow and you have not yet done the research/ gotten the materials? Moms often fall into 2 camps on this one: 1) Let the kid learn the lesson of what happens when they procrastinate – and suffer the consequences. 2) Can’t stand to see the kid fail and stays up all night elbow deep in papier-mâché while the the child writes the report. Neither is wrong, but as moms, we sure do have a soft spot for these procrastinating beasts, don’t we? Thus why most of us end up as last minute project managers.
4. Cleaning lady.
No explanation really necessary on this one, is there? Cleaning up after your kids ends up taking 90% of your free time until you can start asking them to do it themselves. And even then, they never quite get things back to what they were, so you still have to clean. Who knew little people could make such big messes!? Moms. Moms knew.
5. Problem solver.
This one is actually kinda sweet, because when your kid comes to you and asks you to solve all manner of problems for them, it’s almost flattering that they think you can fix anything. But then, you realize that they really want you to fix everything – from the weather to the iPad they dropped in the pool. We’re good, but we’re rarely THAT good.
For those of us moms who didn’t attend law school, we probably didn’t expect having to preside over mediation proceedings. But alas, once you have more than one kid, the mediation responsibilities become almost immediately necessary. Whether they’re fighting over whose turn it is on the iPad or who gets the last Coke, two children at odds more often than not need an adult to mediate their arguments. And who gets that job? Also more often than not: mom!
One of the best parts of being a mama is that we are usually the ones that know our kid (their needs, wants, moods, etc) better than anyone else. Part of having that important distinction entails that no one else can take care of them or comfort them quite as well as we can when they’re sick or injured. The down side of this – the vomit and poop. All over them. All over us. The bed. The floor. The bathroom. Hmm…I guess cleaning lady is a big part of the nurse gig too, huh?
Whether you actually know what you’re doing or not, being a mom means at the very least being a cheerleader when it comes to your child and her activities. It might be on the sidelines of her soccer match, yelling “OFFSIDES!” or at her dance recital, quietly miming all the moves you’ve memorized of her dance. Though you never thought you’d even know what “offsides” meant, all of a sudden you’re telling your child to ‘hustle to the ball to avoid the sweeper and get to goal’ and realize you now know a new language!
9. Drill Sergeant.
This is probably the least favorite of the mom jobs, but sometimes it’s got to be done. No one wants to dole out discipline or hear themselves yelling, but while kids are the biggest of the blessings, they’re also sometimes really really difficult blessings. So there you are, sounding just like your own mother (when did THAT happen!?), and realizing you could probably get a platoon of Marines on the straight and narrow with the lecture you just gave.
OK, OK, we don’t hate this one of the mom jobs. We actually probably take it on because want to. It’s not our faults that our children are so dang CUTE, is it? It’s simply a consequence of their cuteness that requires us to take photos at least once a week (or…once a day.)
So yes, momming is hard. It’s emotionally and physically exhausting. It’s sometimes thankless. But it’s also the most special, rewarding, awesome job of them all, too. So here’s to moms – doing it all since the beginning of time, and continuing to do so until the end of it. Thank you, mamas!!